previous blogs

Nothing of interest to post today just wanted to start this thing up and post some of my previous blogs from myspace, and facebook feel free to comment on any one of them weither it be positive or negative I really hope the previous blogs I've written or the ones I'm about write in the comming months can reach out, and help to encorage and inspire anyone they come into contact with. thanks for stopping by and dont forget to comment

What it is to truly be, "Creative"

Creativity, something I've never really thought of until tonight. For background I was at worship for Christian Campus House down here and the minister was speaking about how creativity is so important to all aspects of our lives. He went on to say that most people have a narrow definition of creativity like being able to create interesting things, being artistic, being musically talented etc. But what is creativity really about, what if we are all creative and just do not know it. God was the ultimate creative being he made everything we see, touch, hear, smell, and taste. From the birds in the sky to ants that crawl on the ground. God was truly the ultimate creative being and guess what? We were made in his image and like the saying goes, "the fruit never falls far from the tree" did we really fall that far from God? Did his creativeness spill onto each and every one of us? I am sure any one could debate this point but I believe that each and everyone of us are truly amazing, different, creative people in our own way weather we know it or not. Going back to some stuff I wrote a while back the world truly tries weather successful or not to fit each and everyone of us into a mold or place among things this mold for better or worst usually is not who we really are but through conditioning of others and constant influence of the world we end up becoming comfortable in this mold. According to the bible Christians are set apart from every one else, but what if its not necessarily that we're set apart as it is we are just conditioned not to follow what the world wants for us but what God wants for us and through that were able to tap into the person that is underneath that wall the world has built for us. In my opinion anyone can tap into the person God wants them to be the person they really are, some people including my self believe that through God we end up knowing our true place and who we really are. Some people believe in individual achievement. It doesn't matter what any one believes, we are truly creative people from the way we talk, to the way we think and if we can truly tap into that creativeness inside of all of our souls I believe that we are truly making God happy and that he loves and values nothing more then each and every one of us being who he created us to be weather we believe in him or not. Don't be afraid to be who you really are, to say the things you really want to say, to feel the way you really want to feel, don't hold back in life, love, or anything for that matter do the best you can and do it YOUR way not anyone else's or how the world wants you to do in doing that you find the true definition to creativity....

Death and God’s will.....

Death is a terrible thing, this past weekend one of my best friends of many years lost her child Grace, after a month and a half battle in the hospital and being 2 months early the doctors and Grace fought as hard as they could but just had to let her go Saturday morning. The reason for this blog was that i was sitting in the memorial service overcome with emotion remembering when my mom passed away about 2 years ago and the pain it caued me and then the pastor said something that caught my attention. He said that it could not be God's will to take a little child from us. This cought my attention and immeditely the gears in my head started to turn, I was thinking; everything would make it seem like our loving a and gracious god wouldn't purposely take the little children away from us. Sitting there I was conflicted kind of upset at God for taking Grace, then as i was sitting there praying I felt a overwhelming sense of calm come over me and I understood. Who are we to question God's will, he has no concept of time, space or anything else for that matter he can litereally make anything happen, and sitting there with all those people who Loved and cared about my friend Chandra it dawned on me that even though the tone to the occasion was somber and even with all the pain everyone was feeling, there was still so much Love in the church that day it overshadowed the pain. Loosing some one close to you is a terrible thing but I again rememberd loosing my mother and thinking if i would have had that many people close to me and loving on me things would have been so much easier for me. Death is a funny thing it either brings people closer together or tears them apart and im so thankfull to God for the love and support that he has given Chandra and her husband Trevor, and that being said i feel that in this situation God's will is truly being done.

Life, love and everything in between

Lately I'm just generally stoked just to be alive, to be able to wake up and even take a breath before I start my day, to even be able to walk out of my apartment and make it to class (even if imp always late). It seems every situation that's been happening has helped me out in some way or another, weather it be to improve my self or just making me aware of my true feelings about a number of things. But even the bad situations don't really even phase me; I seem to be coming to realize what the truly important things are and what things aren't. Those important things are Life in general Love for others, and appreciating all the beautiful shades of grey that life has to over in between those 2 things. I really think people get so caught up in meaningless stuff its unbelievable maybe I know this because I really used to be that person or it might be just a feeling. It seems my heart is in a different place now then it's ever been which is good but makes it super hard to adjust to things, I still continue to grow as a person so rapidly that its hard to slow down and enjoy life as it goes by, so much has changed in this last almost 6 months since my life got turned upside down but so much still remains the same and I feel I'm so blessed to have all the great friends that I have that have been super supportive about the things I've been through, I've made my mistakes and will continue too but with the help from all the people that love and care about me in my life I've kept that to a minimum but there's one thing looming over my head that I still have to face....Its my past all the people I screwed over, all the people I hurt and caused pain too, all the retarded situations I used to get myself into, and the terrible attitude that I used to have to others, I have to realize that some people no matter how much I know I have fixed myself will believe that these changes I've made aren't real or that I am the same person I used to be. Gossip sucks but the sad part is most of the gossip that used to go around about me is true and I cant, and don't want to run from it, Every day I have to face the consequences for the person I used to be and honestly I hate that person with every ounce of my being and no matter what I have to continue to focus on the road ahead and not the road behind me that some people chose to believe ever fell away....When we come to Christ we're given a new life and I don't intend to waste this new life being even a small fraction of the person I used to be, I want to live, and be the person God is molding me into that being said I cant wait to see the future ahead.