Life, love and everything in between

Lately I'm just generally stoked just to be alive, to be able to wake up and even take a breath before I start my day, to even be able to walk out of my apartment and make it to class (even if imp always late). It seems every situation that's been happening has helped me out in some way or another, weather it be to improve my self or just making me aware of my true feelings about a number of things. But even the bad situations don't really even phase me; I seem to be coming to realize what the truly important things are and what things aren't. Those important things are Life in general Love for others, and appreciating all the beautiful shades of grey that life has to over in between those 2 things. I really think people get so caught up in meaningless stuff its unbelievable maybe I know this because I really used to be that person or it might be just a feeling. It seems my heart is in a different place now then it's ever been which is good but makes it super hard to adjust to things, I still continue to grow as a person so rapidly that its hard to slow down and enjoy life as it goes by, so much has changed in this last almost 6 months since my life got turned upside down but so much still remains the same and I feel I'm so blessed to have all the great friends that I have that have been super supportive about the things I've been through, I've made my mistakes and will continue too but with the help from all the people that love and care about me in my life I've kept that to a minimum but there's one thing looming over my head that I still have to face....Its my past all the people I screwed over, all the people I hurt and caused pain too, all the retarded situations I used to get myself into, and the terrible attitude that I used to have to others, I have to realize that some people no matter how much I know I have fixed myself will believe that these changes I've made aren't real or that I am the same person I used to be. Gossip sucks but the sad part is most of the gossip that used to go around about me is true and I cant, and don't want to run from it, Every day I have to face the consequences for the person I used to be and honestly I hate that person with every ounce of my being and no matter what I have to continue to focus on the road ahead and not the road behind me that some people chose to believe ever fell away....When we come to Christ we're given a new life and I don't intend to waste this new life being even a small fraction of the person I used to be, I want to live, and be the person God is molding me into that being said I cant wait to see the future ahead.